


Breathe

by dorkpatroller



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Comfort, First Kiss, Gift Fic, M/M, brady is stressed, owain might kiss him u know?, that would probably be bad right?, that's pmuch it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:31:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9062494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkpatroller/pseuds/dorkpatroller
Summary: Owain's face is really close and Brady's heart won't slow down. What if this ruins everything?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iavenjqasdf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iavenjqasdf/gifts).



> A short udobure for a friend because merry christmas and also because sometimes this tag needs some short and sweet stuff.

“This is okay, right?”

 

Owain is close. Closer than usual when he sleeps over. Things are different between them lately and Brady isn’t quite sure where the line is actually drawn. Are they friends? Are they… boyfriends? It’s hard to tell with Owain sometimes and Brady has been confused since the first time Owain held his hand.

 

This time he’s holding his hand too, and Brady nods his head hastily and curls his fingers loosely around Owain’s. They don’t fit right. Or maybe they do? What is it supposed to feel like when someone holds your hand? Brady supposes he isn’t sure but he certainly knows that it is _different_ to have weight in his hand and spaces between his fingers.

 

He’s scared to bits that his palms are sweaty, that Owain can feel that his palms are sweaty. Owain squeezes his hand a little tighter, moves a little closer.

 

They’re seventeen. Well—Brady is 17. Owain will be in a few months. They’ve been friends since they were kids but Brady never did anything to _deserve_ this friendship. It was handed to him by his mother. Their moms were friends and so they were expected to be as well.

 

Would Owain have really ever even liked him if he hadn’t been forced to attend playdates with him?

 

They were close as kids and stayed close through middle school and now high school. It was weird. As kids they were equals. They chased each other and played games and when they weren’t running around and being ‘heroic’ they were indoors and playing calmer games. Brady always sort of liked those better.

 

Puberty was probably the worst. All of their friends grew to be handsome or pretty and looked normal. Brady somehow got to be too tall, too thin. His face is too long and his jaw too sharp and he hates his own skin but he doesn’t know what to do about it. He’s constantly jealous of Owain because he’s endlessly confident. People make fun of him all the time for his personality or his way of making everything dramatic and he always holds his head up high.

 

Puberty didn’t do Brady any favors but it did Owain a few. He was a wiry kid but he’s got some muscle to him now and a broader chest. His voice got a little deeper and it barely ever cracked and Brady’s voice dropped too but he squawks when he gets nervous and… well that’s practically a joke because he’s nervous all the time.

 

Owain held his hand a lot when they were little but not in recent years. Then a couple weeks ago he cried. (He always cries, it isn’t exactly something new.) Owain reached out and took his hand, and he didn’t stop holding it until they had walked home together. After that things changed.

 

Brady blushes sometimes when he thinks about Owain now. Like right now, even in this exact moment. Owain came over to spend the night after school and he usually sleeps on the floor in a sleeping bag but this time he crawls into Brady’s bed with him and he’s maybe cuddling him. That’s what it is, right? Owain is close, they’re facing each other on their sides, and their hands are clasped together between them. And Brady’s hand is sweating.

 

He likes it. Holding Owain’s hand, that is. He likes it, he thinks, and he likes the implication. He likes to think they might be boyfriends. He has no real evidence outside of this thing they’re doing right now, but… wouldn’t it be nice? Maybe even though puberty didn’t do him justice, even though he’s a noodle with a face Owain likes him?

 

He’s always liked to read romance novels. He won’t own up to it if you ask him but he does love it, the stories of best friends turned lovers. Maybe them, too? Maybe they can be that way?

 

Except for the part where they can’t. Where if they did that and Brady messed it up, his best friend wouldn’t be there anymore. What if he tells Owain he wants to be more than friends and ends up with nothing?

 

So his hands get more clammy and he tries not to think about that. He tries to think about how Owain’s face is tucked sort of close to his, and how he smells really nice. Or does he? He just kind of smells like _him_. Brady doesn’t really know what he smells like. Maybe like off brand Axe deodorant and a little bit like grass stains and neither of those things sound particularly appealing on their own but together, making up _Owain_ they smell great.

 

Brady would breathe him in entirely if he could.

 

Actually, Brady thinks, Owain’s face is like _really_ close. The sort of close that he can feel his breath and Owain tugs him by his hand and pulls him closer and, well shit, maybe he’s _actually going to kiss him_. Maybe Brady isn’t alone in his thoughts that they should kiss?

 

But what if they break up?

 

They’re not even dating. They’re not a couple they’re not dating they’re not kissing. But Owain is really close and Brady’s head spins because what if he leans in and kisses him? What if he asks him out? What if Owain grows up and realizes that Brady isn’t anything special?

 

Owain deserves someone special, right?

 

His head is spinning and Owain leans even closer, and he closes his eyes. Brady doesn’t close his eyes. He watches with something akin to panic. He sucks in his breath and Owain’s lips press against his and it’s tense and closed-mouth and awkward. Brady can’t breathe. Can’t suck in air can’t think can’t focus. He can’t even really make himself blink.

 

His face is hot and his heart is racing and he squeezes his hand tighter around Owain’s but he isn’t sure what’s going on until Owain pulls away and opens his eyes and very slowly pulls his hand away.

 

 _Oh no_ , Brady thinks, _I didn’t kiss him back. He’s gonna hate me. Why didn’t I kiss him back?_ He’s stupid, because he wanted that kiss before he let himself get carried away with his own thoughts and he didn’t even reciprocate… but then Owain moves his hand up to his face. He tentatively slips it to hold Brady’s cheek and it’s stunning because he doesn’t think… Owain has ever done that before.

 

“Brady,” Owain whispers, “Breathe, okay? It’s just me.”

 

 _Calm_.

 

Brady breathes out slow but in a whoosh and he takes in a breath through his nose. Owain breathes in time with him, slow and deep and long but then Brady can’t remember what he was so worked up about in the first place.

 

So what if he’s not perfect? Owain obviously already knows that, right? Owain rubs his thumb under Brady’s eyes and swipes at round, glossy tears that sneak up unexpectedly. Brady takes another breath, but it’s shaky with the tension and his efforts not to let out a sob.

 

“We don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”

 

But he does want to. Brady shakes his head as best he can when it’s laid on a pillow and he reaches up to grab at Owain’s hand. It would be best to kiss him back. Instead he pulls his hand down so he can kiss his palm. He’s too nervous to try and kiss Owain’s mouth—hell, he’d probably miss. “No, s’not that.” He mutters. “Try again, alright?”

 

Owain hesitates a moment, but he leans his face forward and kisses Brady’s mouth again. This time Brady tries to kiss him back. How does kissing work? He has absolutely no idea. It works, though, because he can feel Owain’s lips curl up into a big, wide smile against his mouth.

 

Brady has nothing to be nervous about. This isn’t some kind of horribly dramatic romance novel. This is real life. Owain is his best friend, and he’s going to kiss him more often, and that’s okay. They’ll still be best friends. That won’t ever change.

 

Owain pulls Brady close and hugs him tight as he can and Brady smiles too. His hands aren’t sweaty anymore. He can breathe.


End file.
